I Refuse

I Refuse by Josh Wilson is one of my new favorite songs. I think I like it so much because it rings true with my fairly defiant and stubborn personality. I struggle constantly with doing things people ask me to do. Not just doing them (which I can usually accomplish), but doing them without grumbling. Even if it was something that I probably would have done myself anyway, I don’t want to do it because they asked me to. I like how this song takes defiance and turns it away from God and toward my nature or the attacks of the enemy. Its a good reminder that God made me this way, I just need to use my ‘gifts’ in the right ways. Maybe instead of calling it defiant or stubborn it should be termed strong-willed or independent, not easily swayed by peers or pressures. Its nice to remind myself to use my energy to defend instead of wearing myself out struggling internally. And besides that, it has a nice beat and is fun to sing. Lyrics below:

Sometimes I,
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone’s alright
When I know they’re not.
This world needs God
But it’s easier to stand and watch.
I could pray a prayer and just move on
Like nothing’s wrong.

But I refuse.

‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately,
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of you, oh god.
So, if you say move,
Then it’s time for me to follow through,
And do what I was made to do.
Show them who you are.

‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.

To stand and watch
The weary and lost
Cry out for help.
I refuse
To turn my back
And try and act like all is well.
I refuse
To stay unchanged,
To wait another day,
To die to myself.
I refuse
To make one more excuse.

‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care.
I don’t want to say another empty prayer.
Oh, I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself.
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse.